Apr. 17th, 2010

derp_detective: (FREEZE PAL!)
[A doorbell brings Gumshoe to the front door. Opening it, he finds a mailman with a clipboard and a crate on a hand-truck beside him.]

"Er, yes, can I help you pal?"

[The mailman smiles and holds out the clipboard towards Gumshoe before speaking:]

"Package for Mr. Gumshoe. Need you to sign on the line there."

[Gumshoe scans the clipboard merely as a formality before signing it, after which the mailman gives thanks, slides the box off the hand-truck, and returns back to his truck to drive away. Gumshoe watches him leave before stepping out onto the porch to see what was just delivered. He's very wary of the box, as it has holes near the top and the words 'Live Animal' stenciled in red on the sides. Just as he takes a step closer, a thump from inside the box startles him and he freezes, waiting a few moments before taking the papers attached to the top of the box.]

"Let's see....  Live animal....  Classification: Dog...  Breed: Shiba Inu.... Name: Missile...  MISSILE! Hang on buddy! I'll get you out of there!"

[Gumshoe rushes inside to get a hammer or other tool to help open the crate and quickly returns, taking only a few moments before he finally gets the crate open. Once open, he bends down to greet his old pal as he calls into the crate.]

"Come on out, Missile! I don't know who mailed you here or why, but I'll get you some premium dog food or something to celebrate! It'll be nice to see a familiar faaaaaAAAAH!"

[The scream is because a sudden, furry blur shot out from the box, aimed directly at Gumshoe's head, knocking him on his back. With a hiss and some snarling, the blur scratches at his face before dashing off and up a nearby tree. Gumshoe catches his breath and stands up before he turns around to look at the tree. Upon on the higher branches he's sees the angriest cat he has ever laid eyes on in his life glaring back at him.]

"What the heck?! Is this some kind of prank?!"

[Gumshoe shuffles through the papers he was reading earlier to see if there's been some kind of terrible mistake.]

"....blah blah blah....  Ah, here we go. If there seems to be a problem, please notify us immediately and return the package with the original contents it contained so that we can quickly provide you with the correct package...."

[He glances at the crate again and then back at the cat in the tree. The cat lets out a loud hiss. He looks back to the crate.]

"How in the world am I suppose to get it back in the box?"

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Detective Dick Gumshoe

October 2011

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